I’m back at it. My half marathon is the first weekend in June, and I’m so excited! We (my husband and I) ran the Williamsburg Run for the Dream 1/2 Marathon last year, and it is by far my favorite route in the world. I’m always looking for an excuse to run in Williamsburg, and I always look forward to those glorious 13.1 miles.
We have a lot of changes potentially coming down the chute in the next couple months, so I started my training a little earlier than necessary… just in case there are some ‘set-backs’ to my long runs.
Last weekend I enjoyed my 7 mile run in my favorite park, it was about 40 F so I was bundled up for the first couple miles and discarded my gloves once I warmed up. On the first mile, I found a brand new smart phone! I called a few of the last contacts and left it at the running store I was running with. Hopefully it found its rightful owner.
About a week ago I ran on the boardwalk during the sunrise. I paused to catch my breath, and looked like a total tourist to take some pictures. I tend to do my shorter runs on the boardwalk because it’s about a 6 mile loop, and it would just be the end of the world if I had to run a lap or something. How can I not love running when it gets me our in God’s beautiful creation every morning while the rest of the world is still asleep?
Where do your runs take you? When is the best time for you to run?
Do you ever wake up in the morning, or mess something up, and can’t stop thinking about how you screwed that up? It starts as a healthy reminder to step up your game, and quickly turns into self loathing.
That’s what happened earlier this week. It started out as a healthy reprimand, and quickly turned into the ever familiar self loathing I was quite friendly with when I struggled with my eating disorder. I would hate myself for eating anything and I would expound further but I remember how the comparison game worked:
I would compare myself to others who struggle(d) with an eating disorder, and punish myself if I ate more than them, and gloat if I ate less than them.
I was jealous of those who got hospitalized, and felt sorry for those who swelled from water retention.
Obviously this was kinda messed up. But the thing is, I thought that that’s all I deserved. I thought I wasn’t worth anything until I was less than 100lbs, and I wouldn’t allow myself to be happy. I was going to make myself miserable until I’d reached my goal. The only problem was, that when I started losing a bunch of weight, I felt miserable so I couldn’t even enjoy my new *skinny*. I was terribly sick and wasn’t able to climb up a flight of stairs without fainting. Where were my hopes and dreams of going to college? Traveling? Moving out? I was so sick I couldn’t function.
I’m so glad I’m in a healthier place now! These are a few things that keep me grounded:
A husband who thinks I’m beautiful
Daily quiet time, reflecting on things that are true and uplifting
An exhilarating amount of running and keeping active
Taking time to enjoy the smallest moments. Taking time to be joyful
Taking time for myself. Sometimes this means taking my journal to Starbucks and writing for an hour. Other times this means taking 2 hours to run by the beach. And occasionally it means spending an hour on pinterest, pretending to be productive 🙂
“If you aren’t good at loving yourself, you will have a difficult time loving anyone, since you’ll resent the time and energy you give another person that you aren’t even giving to yourself.”
– Barbara De Angelis, author
What helps you guys keep a healthy perspective on life and yourself? How do you keep your emotions steady and enjoy life when it seems crazy?